~THE STAMPEDE~ .... Chapter 2

**Calgary, Alberta, Canada, is known mostly for The Calgary Stampede. If you Google “The Largest Outdoor Show in the World” People from all over the world share their photos and videos of this event. Imagine if you will, a million people in one part of a city; for seventeen days. Read and learn how I spent these seventeen days of ~The Stampede~

Shortly after relocating my camp, I made it cozy. How cozy? Well, I made a golf driving range, about a couple hundred feet to the pole; yes I even had a pole with a flag. It was just a steel post with a sock, but it served its purpose. My fire pit had side walk bricks inlaid around it. I made a rotisserie stand, so I could roast a chicken. A friend made me a sturdy table where I stored my supplies. Firewood was never an issue, I would load wood from our job sites. Oh! That’s right! I contacted my partner, who thought I went back to the province of British Columbia. He didn’t realize I was still in Alberta, starving to death in my tent; up on that hill. We had been out of contact for that twenty-six days, my cellphone was dead. As soon as I reconnected with him, we carried on like nothing happened.

Although, I started to consume more alcohol. Each and everyday after work I would stop off at this beer and wine store. A coworker had shown me a place where they sold the cheapest beer and cigarettes. For only thirty dollars, I could buy a pack of cigarettes and a twenty-four pack of beer. I would demolish all this alone, still show up for work the next day; just to do it all over again. If you don’t know, Canada is known for our beer, its no joke; it’s as harsh as our winters. You may be thinking. “Twenty-four beers in one night and still work the next day? That is not possible.” If you are semi normal, this is not possible. As for me, I have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome; I can drink myself into a coma and wake and do it all over again. Others would stop at one or two beers, if they surpassed that amount; they may be sick the next day. I would awake and feel like I had eight hours of rest, feeling like a million dollars. People who are F.A.S. are more often than not, binge drinkers. That is me! I can drink a whole month straight and still function daily at work. Of course, I look like the living dead, wreaking of an overcrowded ashtray and bar bathroom urinal. I didn’t care, I worked with men everyday; more alcoholics. Women were the last thing in my mind, I had my mind set on only one thing; self destruct. In a twelve hours day at work, we are thinking only one thing; stopping at that beer and wine store and buying another twenty-four pack and pack of cigarettes. OK...That’s two things. After picking up my beers and cigarettes, I wouldn’t wait till I got back to camp. I snapped open a can of beer and slammed it.

My coworker would shake his head at me while pouring his beer into his stainless steel travel mug. He would laugh and state. “Are you sucking the beer out of that can?! You finish your beer before I am done pouring mine into my mug!” Taking a sip out of his beer and setting it into the cup holder. “The secret to longevity my friend...Take it easy!” He went on to preach how to drink beer, I quickly shut him out; I wasn’t having any of it.

As he drove through Calgary, I killed my second beer; his voice muffled in the background. I sunk back into my mind, I sunk back into 2001, brushing my teeth before going to bed. As I stood hovered over the sink, I felt something that I can only describe as a knife being stuck into my heart. Then I noticed that my left side of my body was all numb. A tingling sensation ran up and down my left arm. I always thought if this ever happened to me like it happened to my dad, I would embrace it and say. “Go ahead..Take me.” But that was not my thoughts, in the mirror; a man filled with fear stared back at me. I made the attempt to reassure myself that I was going to be OK. I looked deep into my eyes and whispered. “You are going to be OK.”

I staggered to my girlfriends room, collapsing onto her bed; she freaked out and insisted she bring me to a hospital. She was positive that I was experiencing a heart attack or stroke. I assured her I would be OK, we laid there; I could feel her tears drop onto my chest. I lied and said the sensations were going away, she made me promise I would get checked. When I closed my eyes, I wondered if I would awake; would the next attack take me? Next day, I felt the weight of a house on my chest; each breath restricted. When I forced a deep breath, I regretted doing so; I felt my heart explode. This was getting worse, so I drove myself from Abbotsford to Chilliwack, about a twenty minute drive if that. Thoughts of having a massive attack while driving followed me right to the Chilliwack General Hospital. When I arrived at the emergency, explaining what was happening for me; I was rushed in and a bed was provided. Nurses rushed around and started asking questions. All I could think was, this is no joke; my life is balancing on each breath and beat of my heart. I laid there scared, I knew my heart was in bad shape; I just didn’t know how bad. I remember praying “God..Creator..What ever you are...I need you know...Please help me and I will change my ways...” As I was saying this over and over in my head, a boy on the bed next to me wanted to play hide and seek; with the curtain that separated us. His mom asked him to leave me alone, he ignored her. When I turned to look at him, he pulled the curtain hiding himself behind it. I was in no mood for games, so I chose to ignore him; until he touched my left arm. I turned to look at him, he quickly pulled the curtain hiding himself again. I was now annoyed, until he started to scream; I mean loudly. I was going to peak around the curtain and ask his mom if he was OK.

I was side tracked by the doctor who had my flip chart in his hand. “Darren! How are you feeling? It says here you are experiencing numbness, restricted breathing and constant pressure to your chest. From a scale one to ten, where are you at?” He sat at the edge of the bed and placed his stethoscope on my back and chest.

I was baffled and hesitated to say, but I did. “Ummm...This is going to sound crazy...I was experiencing everything that you just mentioned...This boy beside me touched my arm and now its all gone...I don’t feel anything anymore...I know it sounds crazy but I think you should check on this boy.” The boy hadn’t stopped screaming and nurses were now checking on him. One of the nurses called to the doctor, they whispered to each other.

He nodded to her and then turned back to me. “Ok Darren! I am going to attend to this patient, somebody will be with you shorty to run some tests. OK?”

After the tests, the doctor came back and had a look of concern. He asked. “Darren! Do you smoke cigarettes or marijuana? He clicked his pen ready to jot notes.

I nodded and answered. “Yes..I smoke cigarettes.”

As he wrote he asked. “Do you drink alcohol?” He stopped to look me in the eyes.

I was still nodding my head, I had a feeling my answers would be yes to all his questions. “Yeah...I drink.”

He wrote some more onto the flip chart and then asked. “Cocaine...Do you use cocaine Darren?”

I didn’t answer right away, I bite my bottom lip, everything was telling me to deny using cocaine. I knew deep down, I had to come clean. “.....Yes...I use cocaine.”

He went on to tell me if I used any of these anymore, I would create problems for myself. He sensed that I was not interested in what he was saying. That’s when he tapped my forehead with his pen “Darren! This is a warning! I am telling you! If you continue to use all three of these things together!...I am writing you off!” The look in his eyes, he was not joking; he was serious.

For Eleven years that doctors words echoed in my conscience. Throughout that time, I have had periods of sobriety; but when I began to drink again it was like I had never stopped. It’s actually said, that your addiction progresses even when you are not using. I learned that at a treatment center I had checked myself into. They also ran tests, I feared the results; my body was in bad shape. Tests would show that my liver was borderline, It could fail me; or I could fail it. I had lost two older brothers to liver failures, both drank alcohol like I did. I made up my mind this was the route I was committed to. I was in a place where I could drink as much as I wanted, no one to intervene. The halt of my work van, which my coworker was driving; brought me back to the present day in Calgary. We were at my camp, we sat there drinking our beers; going on about random topics. My coworker informed me of “The largest Outdoor Show” in the world; The Calgary Stampede! I have never been to one, but have heard so many things about them; my mom and dad even been to one. The Stampede is basically, seventeen days of western cowboy festivities. Rodeos, county music concerts and big parties. People from all over the world traveled to experience it. After learning this stampede was coming soon, I chose to relocate my camp again; this time to a paying campsite; C.W.C. Campgrounds. This is located a kilometer from the Calgary Olympic park. My coworker who’s name is George by the way. Sorry about that, so rude of me to not introduce him. George advised that I get a campsite before the Calgary Stampede begins, or good luck in getting one at all. He was right, that campsite filled up not long after I arrived. I could not believe the variety of nations that showed up at that campground. It was an international party fest!

The campground was a fire less one, no open fire pits. It had a swimming pool, mini golf course, endless hiking trails. The luxuries were, showers! Yes! They had hot showers which I hadn’t had in a long time. They also had a laundry room! I didn't have to do mine by hand or make a trip into town; it was also free! OH! They also had free WIFI! Yes! Why did I chose to live isolated in the woods when I could have all this? Well, to stay for three nights; it cost me thirty-seven dollars and seventy five cents. To stay the full seventeen days of the Stampede, would cost me; two hundred and thirteen dollars and ninety one cents. I didn’t like that, it was taking away from my drinking money; but I was prepared to pay. The problem, you could only pay for three days at a time; no monthly rates. You had to be on top of checking in or you could find yourself without a site. One night, I was laying inside my tent texting my BC friends; who were just a province away. I tried to talk them into coming over, I didn’t want to experience The Calgary Stampede alone.

That is when I overheard my neighbors in the site beside me.”We need to find another guy, then we can divide the camp fee three ways...That would be twelve dollars and change for three days.”

I jumped out of my tent and walked over to them. “Hi! I overheard you guys! I am your guy!” I shook their hands as we all laughed. “..I am Darren.”

Still laughing they introduced themselves. “Hi, I am Jay and this is my brother Bonehead.”

Jay was playfully slapped on the back by his brother. “Hi, pleased to meet you, I am Brad and this big guy is Bear!” He reached down and scrubbed the head of this huge black Neufie dog. It looked like a cross from a black bear and black pig.

I reached down to introduce myself to their dog. “Hey Bear! How you doing buddy?..Why is most of his fur missing?” I backed away slowly noticing a strong odor coming from him.

Brad called Bear over to him. “Bear! Want a treat?” Bear used every ounce of energy to get to his feet and walk over to Brad. “We saved Bear from a dog pound, they were going to put him down. His missing fur is from a disease called Mange. It’s not contagious or anything, vets say there is no cure...Just advised us to make him as comfortable as possible.” Brad hand fed Bear a treat.

I knew then and there these two had good hearts. I asked them if they were working, which they were not. I asked if they were interested in working, which they were. They had just been evicted from their apartment because of Bear. Their former neighbors complained about the rotting stench that Bears disease produced. I had to walk away from Bear, texting my partner who agreed to try them out. They both turned out to be good workers, so we hired them. We worked together during the day and partied during the evenings when we got back to the campsite.

We found the C.W.C. Campground to be one huge party for the full seventeen days of the Stampede. Brad and Jay made a big deal about partying the full seventeen days. They didn’t know, I had been drinking everyday prior to meeting them. They were especially unaware of my current goal, my race to the finish line.

Every night there was a concert at the Olympic park and fireworks exploded in the distance. I have never had so much fun in my life! I met people from all over the world and we partied like we had always known each other. For a couple days we were hit with lightning storms, that didn’t dampen our spirits; women in bikinis played in the huge mud puddle. The theme was to make your campsite as inviting as possible. Many loved our set up, but it was Bears odor that chased them away. The hardcore alcoholics didn’t mind the odor and stayed and partied with us. We had regulars who would consistently stop at our campsite. They would always bring alcohol, food and treats for Bear. We all became a drunk family, never remembering the night before. It was a place where time no longer existed and no wrong could be committed. Our community, was a tiny city populated by hundreds of party animals. We called it “Mini Sin City”

Just a week into The Calgary Stampede, none of us made it into Calgary. Our drinking at the campsite, prevented us from furthering our horizons. I mean actually attending the Stampede grounds, where the true festivities were being held. We always talked about going, that is as far as that went. When we met somebody new, we always asked if they had been to the Stampede. They would laugh, because they hadn’t; they had only been at the camp site like us. Those who did make it, often said the party in Mini Sin City was the place to be. A group of young carpenters went as far to build an elevated gazebo with ramps. They covered the gazebo with white Christmas lights. Solar powered lawn lights traced their ramps which also had Christmas lights. That became the place to be, most visited by many campers, even I left our party to join them.

One night, I sat on a picnic table alone, watching the party in the lit up gazebo. Two very beautiful blonde girls stopped and asked. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you up there like everybody else?” They walked over and sat with me.

I shook my head and admitted. “I drank too much and I can’t find my campsite...Can you help me?” I offered them both a beer.

They giggled and replied. “Awe, of course we can help you...Poor guy...What does your camp look like? Do you remember the post number?” They got up from the picnic table, reaching for my hand. “Come! Let’s find your campsite.”

I gathered my beers and smokes. “My camp number is #68...It has a Red Dodge Durango parked beside it and orange and green tent ... a beige gazebo...”

They both laughed collapsing into each others arms. “...You mean like this one!” They pointed behind me.

I turned and they were right, I was sitting at my campsite the whole time. My mind was starting to really fail me. They realized I was in bad shape and made sure I made it to my tent OK. Many nights I didn’t make it into my tent, I would awake in a chair or on the grass. I would sometimes, awake outside my tent, I guess I was unable to unzip the door. I started to deteriorate rapidly, one morning I awoke; I fell into a coughing fit. I felt my mouth fill with salt, so I spat outside my tent. I was shocked to find it was blood, I was coughing up blood now. Prior to this, at my isolated campsite; I was pooping out blood. Now I was coughing it up, I laid back in my tent, my end is near I thought.

A voice startled me, Jay was outside laying on a towel sun bathing. “How long has this been going on Darren? You’re coughing up blood bro! That ain’t good!” He handed me a bottled water.

I sat in my tent thinking about what to say. “....I have high blood pressure...I have a bloody nose...Just spitting that up.” I climbed out of my tent, opening the bottled water.

Jay shook his head not believing me. “You don’t have a bleeding nose! You coughed that up! I know what this is! My dad died of this Darren!...You got to stop man!” He sat there glaring up at me.

Apparently after Jay and I spoke that morning, the brothers had a meeting and decided to have an intervention. They said they didn’t want my death on their hands. They saw their dad go through hell to the bitter end. I felt bad, they were sincere; I saw the pain in their eyes. I heard the pain in their voices, as they advised me to stop. I couldn’t believe these two alcoholics, slash. crack addicts were telling me to quit. Reality hit me hard, I told them I would slow down and eventually stop. I pleaded for them to allow me to go the full seventeen days and then I will stop. They agreed and made me promise after The Calgary Stampede, no more. We even made a bet for each others pay checks, I hated losing money; so sobriety was in my near future.

After this incident I noticed their drinking slowed down and they even went to bed earlier. I on the other hand, stayed up till daylight, drinking anything in site. There were nights I would venture off and meet others and drink. I invited a couple of women from Belgium to our campsite. We had a fancy propane fire pit inside our gazebo, which impressed my guests. It was very cold at nights, so they warmed up to the fire. Language was an issue though, but they had a translation book. We managed to communicate but it was slow going. The brothers would take turns checking up on me, they would look at me and my beer in hand. Just by the look in their eyes, I knew I was creating concern. Each and every morning I would cough up blood. I was becoming more of a nuisance to the guys, I knew they wanted to distance themselves from me; but I was their employer. They were handcuffed to me and it was really getting to them. This one time, it was just getting to be daylight; birds started to sing. I tried to get up off my folding chair, I took a couple steps and fell side ways into the gazebo wall.

The momentum of my body took me through the thin fabric wall; almost onto the brothers tent. I laid their entangled in the gazebo like a fish in a net. I couldn’t free myself, so I yelled out over and over at the top of my lungs. “GET ME OUT OF HERE! GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

I was blacked out drunk and have no recollection of this but saw the damages my fall created. I could see in the eyes of the brothers, they had enough of my self destructing ways. They knew if they distanced themselves from me, I would find other workers to take their places. I was their meal ticket, they knew they couldn’t find a job that paid them as well as we did. So they endured my ways, but they didn’t give up on trying to get me to stop. It was the fifteenth day of The Calgary Stampede, I awoke, I was beyond sick. My blood was everywhere, I was hemorrhaging everywhere possible. I climbed out of my tent and went to the showers, while the brothers were still in their tent. I was drained of life, I was near death and just waiting to be taken. While in the shower I leaned up against the wall and let the water soak me. Eyes closed and drifting further and further from myself. Once in awhile coughing and spitting blood down the drain. Tooth paste and blood is the worst mixture, leaves an after taste that I still have today. After the shower I went straight to the swimming pool, which was empty, perfect for me. I climbed in and rested my back against the wall. My arms kept me in a comfortable position, I felt better immediately ; like I hadn’t been bingeing at all. Thoughts of enjoying a drink at the pool entered my mind. Losing a little bit of blood wasn’t going to stop me...I was committed to the finish line.

As I stood in the pool, I heard voices, it was the brothers. As they neared, their eyes widened and Brad pointed at me. “There he is!” They walked over to me shaking their heads. “We thought you died...We didn’t hear you coughing today...Jay shook your tent like he always does and asked if you were alive...You didn’t answer like you usually do...We were just coming to the office to call an ambulance to take your body.” I could tell they were shocked that I was up and about.

After that day, they made a stand; they were not going to make alcohol trips for me anymore. They said I had to find my own way to purchase alcohol. They wanted no part in my drinking, they stood firm; they even tried to find activities that didn’t involve alcohol. I didn’t make it the full seventeen days, the fifteenth day was it, because they wouldn’t get more alcohol for me. I was in no shape to walk to a store and get my own, they even went as far as to tell our party friends to not supply me. They were drying me out, I have never been so sick in my life; I stayed away from work for a week. I thought I was on my way to sobering up, while they were at work, I met a fellow alcoholic; he was in worse shape than me. He would pass out after a few drinks and then pee himself; then awake and drink like nothing happened. This guy owned a motor-home, Harley Davidson, Jeep and a nice white pickup truck...OH!He also owned a golf cart, his drinking buddy chauffeured him; they called it the limo. That old guy was always drunk or passed out, I never saw him sober once. He helped me get back to drinking again, of course Brad and Jay disliked him. They didn’t like him coming around our campsite. Jay let him know this and said they were trying to sober me up. Jays request went forgotten, I mean we were always intoxicated.

Not too long after The Calgary Stampede, a Filipino Christian group camped right beside us. There must have been two hundred Filipino campers. They set up a stage in an open field, that’s were they had praise and worship. It was a huge Christian jamboree and we were in the middle of it. I asked the brothers to have us moved away from this. They said the camp was filled and no sites were available to move to. I was in a very dark place, I didn’t want to hear that Jesus saves; I wanted to move back to my isolated camp. The brothers told me to hang in there, the jamboree was only a week long. I decided to return to work, as sick as I was; I just wanted to be away from these Christians. So being at work for twelve hours kept me away from them. During the evenings, I thought we were coexisting with the Christians; I thought they didn’t mind my drinking ways. We got home from work one night and found an eviction notice stapled to our picnic table. We had to pack and leave that night, we were in disbelief; exhausted from work and all I wanted to do was drink. Brad went to the office to plead with the owner to allow us to stay. As for campsites within the Calgary area; options were limited for campers with pets. We had no other option but to pack, all our party buddies came to say goodbye; I avoided making any eye contact with the Christians. I knew they were relieved to see us go, we were a loud bunch and had no respect for anybody else. I was mostly upset that they just didn’t come to us and express their feelings, instead they went to the owner and had us removed. We ended up moving to a campsite forty-five minutes from Calgary. This is when things got out of hand and something needed to change...

This is just a part of Chapter 2...unedited and raw...