THE MOUNTAIN...Chapter 3

***When an animal is stuck in a trap, it will gnaw away at itself till it is free. Humans are also capable of this, a movie was made about a man who cut his arm off to survive. Animals will also walk off and die alone...Apparently, humans are capable of this also.***

After being evicted, we had moved into a campsite a lot like my isolated camp. Forty-five minutes from civilization, deep in the woods. We had very little contact with other campers, felt like we were all alone.The only signs of life were from our feathered friends, flying tree to tree. Chirping at us, waiting for food scraps.The river showed the devastation from the flood, the shores were littered with dead fall trees. Welcoming us, a camp attendant, he warned us more than anything. Apparently, we were camped in the middle of a bear habitat.

The camp attendant stated. “It’s not IF you will see a bear, it’s more like WHEN. So keep all food locked inside these metal bins. Never eat or stash food in your tents...Or your vehicles, unless you want a bear inside it. Oh! Bear bangers and mace are sold at the office! Keep your dog in your vehicle or tent at nights. If you have any other questions or concerns, stop by the office. Please don’t chop any trees down, I have firewood for sale in my truck.”

While we drove around the campsite, we could see that we were the only crazy tent campers. Our neighbors where in; trailers, campers and motor homes. We were basically sleeping outside with just sleeping bags. The only thing separating us from the bears, a waterproof fabric. Normally I don't fear bears, but the odds were against us, we were a meal in a wrapper. I recalled the times I ate in my tent, sometimes dumping my meal, because I was so intoxicated. Bears have the most amazing noses, there was no doubt in my mind; they would sniff out the grease stains from my steak. I felt uneasy and I could see the brothers didn’t look too comfortable also. Although, our biggest concern was not the bears, I had alcohol on my mind. I knew a few beers would erase my fear of the bears. I could see the panic in the eyes of my crack cocaine addicted camp-mates. I knew there was no drug dealer willing to drive forty-five minutes to a campsite. We were in a prison, guarded by bears.

I had accepted that I was about to dry up, sober up, till it happened, one of the brothers found alcohol. In efforts to prevent me from drinking, they hid alcohol from me, while I was passed out. They figured that I would dismiss it as already drank, they were right. Only, they had forgotten about it as well. A bottle of dark Rum and an eight pack of beer; that was all I needed and my binge began again.The tension around our campsite dissolved after a few drinks. We sat around our campfire, you could see a faint glow; from our neighbors fire. We couldn't hear them, maybe because we were laughing so loud. We sat there sharing our experience of the seventeen days of mayhem. I survived my first Calgary Stampede, never making it to the actual stampede grounds. Didn't matter, I had the time of my life, meeting people from all walks of life.

We finished the alcohol and retired to our tents, I was not done, I wanted more. I sat up in my tent, facing towards their tent. “Hey! I will buy you both a bottle of Rum and smokes!...” For a minute, only the roaring river replied.

Finally Jay answered back. “...And a bucket of KFC!” Then we all laughed together and agreed that would be perfection.

We made the long trip to Calgary, drinking all the way back; Jay snacked on fried chicken. I was extremely pleased, but paid a lot of money to make that trip. At that moment, alcohol had more worth than money. I even bought a bottle of champagne to celebrate the birth of a new binge. We were having so much fun, until I received a text message from my partner. He stated that we were awarded another contract, we needed to meet in Airdrie; just north of Calgary. It was midnight, we were well into our alcohol; time was our enemy. If I stopped there and then, I would easily make it to work; the brothers thoughts exactly. They finished their last drinks and retired to their tent, advising me to retire as well. I calculated everything in my mind, if I drank what I had tonight; I would be able to show up at Airdrie at noon.

I texted my partner. “Just got your message...We are still drinking...See you at 12 PM in Airdrie.” I hoped he would agree and not demand a 9 AM start.

He finally replied. “Yeah OK...We need to stay late to make up for the time.”

I was elated because I created more drinking time. “Cheers brother! See you at high noon!”

I informed the brothers and they came back out to drink some more.

This would prove to be a huge mistake, we had reached our limit before making the trip to Calgary. We should have stayed in our tents then, but we let alcohol get the best of us. The brothers ended up fighting, I counselled them, I even got them to hug each other. Well, we did not sleep, I even texted my partner and said sorry we will not show up. I think I recall saying we had vehicle problems. So we pulled an all niter, we drank till the next day without sleep. That is when the brothers stated I looked terrible, they said my eyes were yellow. I can recall feeling very hollow, normally I feel full while drinking beer. Not that day, I felt like the alcohol had eaten everything inside me. The amount of alcohol that I had consumed in that short time, easily more than most people consume in a year. The concern resurfaced, the brothers were back to lecturing me. They were very serious, they saw, I was near death and something needed to change.

Jay had been walking around the campsite, he met a family of Native Americans from Phoenix, USA. Apparently they were in Canada to attend a Pow Wow; a Native song and dance competition. This used to be a big part of my life, my sober life; alcohol is prohibited. This was the last place I wanted to be, but Jay was on a mission; he wanted me to sober up. He even invited the father from the American family to visit our campsite. I was so annoyed and I felt I was ganged up on. The Native guy went on to tell his story, he had been an alcoholic but changed his life. He stated that his children have never seen him drunk. I felt for him and his family, but he had no idea what I was up against. I was in self destruct mode, nothing was about to change my course of action.

Then I was broadsided. “Hey! You should bring the guys...They have never been to a Pow Wow. I know they will love a Indian Taco.”

Jay backed him up. “Yeah! I would love to see what this is all about!”

Brad asked. “What!? Indian taco? What is this?”

I submitted, only because I wanted a taco. “It’s everything in a Mexican Taco, but it’s made with fried bread..Bannock!”

The brothers have had bannock before, so they really wanted to try an Indian Taco. So this meant I had to sober up long enough to attend. I was not looking forward to drying out, I managed to endure a few hours without alcohol. I was very shaky and I knew I was sweating the alcohol out. My mind was very much in the fog, I just wanted to get through this and have a drink. When we found a place to park, I was overwhelmed at the amount of people present. Imagine attending an outdoor festival, with all the food vendors, and then all the arts and crafts. There were many more things to experience as well. It was like being in a huge amusement park, only the main focus was on the singers and dancers. When I heard the drum beating like a heart beat, I was at home; I felt alive inside. I clenched my teeth and put my sunglasses on; I was about to cry. Jay was excited to find out the Pow Wow was for three days. He managed to talk me into attending for two days, he wanted to attend the last day; but I started to drink again. I could see the frustration in his eyes. Brad had given up and drank with me, until my body gave out again. I started to cough up blood again, I couldn’t even smoke a cigarette; it felt like I was inhaling fire. I recall my brother sharing with me when he took our older brother to the hospital in 2001.

My brother shared about them being at the hospital. “He kept taking off the oxygen mask...I told him to keep it on...He said it was hot...” My brother left our older brother, thinking he would recover, he even said he would visit the next day. Our older brother didn’t make it through the night. He passed away at the age of forty-five years, his liver failed him.

I was now breathing in hot air, my breaths became shorter and shorter; it hurt to breathe. I sensed I was near my end, I needed to find a place to die alone; I didn’t want to die around the brothers.This is when I suggested “The only way I’ll stop...You need to drive me out to the mountains and leave me...” I sat by the fire and made up my mind.

They couldn’t believe I was serious, but I assured them that I would be OK and that I would rejoin them. They drove me into a valley called “Waiparous” just south east of Cochrane, Alberta. The further they drove from civilization, the more they questioned my decision. We were on a dirt road and hadn’t seen anybody for miles. There were no houses, no signs of people, just the road that we were driving up. During the whole drive, I continued to drink, as painful as each drink was. We lost cellphone signals on our phones, they asked how we were going to communicate. I told them that I would hike back to Cochrane and text them. I instructed them to not come back into the valley looking for me. I told them my plan was to hike away from the road, further up into the mountains.

We came across a creek that flowed down the mountain and into the River below. I noticed the road was getting very rough, Jay was starting to slow down; avoiding huge pot holes and rocks. That is when I instructed him to pull over, I would hike from here. The terrain was so rough with jagged rocks, Jay got his Durango high centered on one. We spent a good hour trying to get the vehicle unstuck. They wished me luck, making me promise to contact them as soon as I got back to Cochrane. I told them I might be a week or longer...I didn’t know.

After running out of alcohol, my body started to go through withdrawals. Many miles from the nearest person and liquor store, I had to endure the storms of withdrawals. I had just been through a year of consistent drinking, only stopping for the great flood. Every muscle in my body started cramping on me. I did not have a moment of comfort or peace, I wanted God to take me; the pain was unbearable. I had wished that dehydration, starvation, heart failure, liver failure or a bear would take my life. I did not want to wake and feel anymore, I had experienced hangovers before; this was different, I was dying a slow painful death.

As the days passed, I found I was not alone on that mountain. I awoke one night to hear laughter about fifty yards away. I got out of my tent and stumbled in the dark towards the voices. I came across a trailer with two men and a woman. They were as shocked as I was. “Whoa! Where did you just come from?!” This scruffy looking man stepped out of the trailer, he circled around the trailer in crutches, paranoid like. “You alone?!” He crutched towards me checking me out.

I put my hands up to show that I was no harm or threat. Yeah...It’s just me...Hey...Has anybody ever told you?...You look identical to that serial killer, Charles Manson...You just need the Swastika between the eyes.” I was blown away at the resemblance. “Hey do you have a beer?” I was hurting for a beer and hoped they had one for me.

He laughed at me and sat down beside his fire. “Grab a seat...I have something better...” He pulled out a cigarette case which was filled with marijuana joints. “You blaze?” He passed a joint and a lighter.

I accepted it. “No...but I’ll take a hit.” I lit it up and took a couple pulls., it still burned to inhale. Just as I was about to pass it back, he lit up another one. “That’s yours man! Enjoy!” He sat there smoking his like a cigarette.

I nodded and sunk back into my seat, we sat there chatting, I explained why I was camped out alone. He laughed at me and called into the trailer. Out stepped this tall lanky man, he looked very familiar. He walked over to the fire, hovering his hands over the flames, absorbing the heat. I couldn’t believe it! He looked like that guy who acted in that movie “Leaving Las Vegas” ....Nicholas Cage.

Charles introduced his friend. “This is my buddy...We had to get him out of the city...He was drinking himself to death to.” Charles passed Nicholas a cigarette and asked him. “How you feeling?”

Nicholas accepted the cigarette and lit it. “Well...I am finally able to hold down water...” He looked at me and asked. “Who are you?” The cherry from his cigarette hi lighted his face.

Charles stood up and used his crutches to hold himself up. He answered for me, I found it impossible to get a word in, so I sat in silence for the most part. I was shocked at Charles attention to detail. He shared my story word for word. After he was done, he looked at me as though asking. “Is that how it went or did I leave anything out?” I nodded to confirm.

Nicholas flicked his cigarette into the fire and asked. “So are you running from the law? ...Or just suicidal? Or both?” He sat down in Charles seat. “It’s OK man...We are all running from something.” He grinned and winked at me.

Charles went into the trailer to medicate, his infected ankle was bothering him. Nicholas and I sat up by the fire and chatted about our drinking problem. We found we both had a lot in common, we both nodded and related to each others stories. I had shared with him that I was both running and suicidal.

He laughed as he added more wood to the fire. "Of course you are! Why else would you be way the heck out here? ALONE!... I'll say this, I could never do what your'e doing. I would've checked myself into a hospital. Charles is a walking pharmacist, if it wasn't him, I am dead." He also advised me to ask Charles for some medication before leaving for my camp.

I was still feeling like I was going to die, so I asked Charles. “Can you help me out? I am going through withdrawals and having problems sleeping.” I saw his wife who looked amazing, she looked like Darryl Hannah from the movies Kill Bill.

She smiled and advised me. “You should eat...I can’t believe they left you with only a bag of chips.” Charles obliviously informed her about my situation. Darryl felt sorry for me, so she fixed me a plate and had me sit down.

Every time I looked at her, I couldn’t help but picture her with a black patch over her eye. I was in love with her, I am not a big Darryl Hannah fan, but she was the only woman around for miles; not to mention she just fed me. I couldn’t help myself from flirting with her; even with Charles sitting an arms length away. He seemed to be nodding off from his meds, so I felt it was safe. When it got too late, everybody got ready for bed, Darryl volunteered to walk me back to my camp with her flashlight. To evade the awkward silence, she lent in for a hug and wished me well. She made sure I was settled in my tent before leaving. I don’t know what kind of pills Charles gave me, they knocked me out for days.There were times, I would awake to find somebody sitting in the tent with me. I couldn’t make out who it was, I could just see their silhouette. Not a word was said, so I drifted back into my coma. I would be awoken, by knocking at my tent door. When I unzipped the door, I found a bottle of water sitting there. Without question, I was grateful and drank the water. I left the bottle outside when done. It seemed when I wanted water, somebody knocked at my door, I would again find a bottle of water. It must have been a week before I left my tent. I walked over to Charles and Darryl’s camp, the trailer was gone; just the fire pit existed. I was disappointed that they left without saying goodbye.

I awoke one morning, it was the most beautiful day, I realized I was not going to die on that mountain. However, I needed a bath, it had been a week, since I last cleansed myself. I took my tent down and began my journey out of there. I found my way down to the river, I had the whole valley to myself. There was nobody else around but me, no sounds of vehicles or people. I was feeling really good, I started to feel strong; I just needed some food. I was so taken by the view that I turned my phone on to snap some shots. That’s when my cellphone went off like crazy, I found a signal. I had over a hundred text messages, so I sat there by the river replying to them. My work partner had given up on me and was going solo again. I had no reason to return to Calgary, so I only had two other options. Stay there to die or head home, my home province...Beautiful British Columbia.

I had no idea where I was going, I just decided to get off that mountain. My conversation with Nicholas really made me think. He said something that is etched in my mind. He said. "It's no secret...we are all going to die...We can just die...Or we can die trying...personally I think it's best to die trying."

You know something? I can't say for sure...That those three were really up there with me. I can say this...They helped me get through the roughest time in my life. I think about them all the time...It is better to think of them being real than not. I mean, wouldn't you?

This is just part of chapter 3 and unedited...So it will go through changes..

Please enjoy and invite others...

Much Love and God Bless ...